not so deep thoughts on motherhood

It’s 5am. Hudson and I have been up for an hour now.

He’s nursing again and I’m thinking about how much a baby changes your life. And how I would describe having a baby to someone who doesn’t have one. You know, deep thoughts while nursing.

I’m pretty sure I’d describe it as having a tiny goblin creature as a pet. Definitely more creature than human. But said creature is irresistibly adorable. More adorable than baby otters and kittens and puppies all cuddling together. So adorable that it makes your heart explode.

All you want to do is smooch and smell your creature ALL day. And strangely, their breath smells like actual heaven mist. Actual HEAVEN.

But said creature also hates sleep. And at night they somewhat morph into gremlins that have eaten after midnight. And these creatures desperately want to suck and scratch and tweedle and bite you all day and all night. And did I mention they hate sleep!? Cause they do.

And they are also LOUD. Like a wailing banshee. And they poop so much. So much. And at some point you’ll get all matters of creature fluids on you. Pee,poo, vomit, snot. Lots of it. All over you.

And these creatures are crafty and sneaky. And they will ransack your home faster than you can go pee. But you aren’t allowed to crate them or lock them in a room. So the ransacking is just a way of life. And the messier an object is, the more they want it. Your spice cabinet? Oh yes. The toilet? It’s their fave. Don’t even get me started on the pantry, your cabinets, and your dresser drawers. The one plus is that they don’t typically have a ton of teeth early on so they can’t really chew up your couch or walls. They will smear all matters of horror on both but they won’t chew it up. Small victories here.

You think bottle feeding a whole litter of kittens is hard? It’s NOTHING.
You think potty training a puppy is hard? It’s NOTHING.

These creatures, they are in a whole other dimension/level.

BUT you’ll love them insanely too much despite all the hard stuff. Insanely too much. And the first time they belly laugh, you’ll think you might actually crack open from joy. And the first time they say mama and reach for you? You melt faster than the wicked witch. You’ll even want to watch them sleep and you’ll actually miss them if they sleep too long.

And slowly, but yet also in lightning speed, they grow up. And watching them grow up…..well, that’s more words than I can write right now.

Happy Friday mamas. You are doing amazing hard and beautiful work. Enjoy your creatures today!

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